Perfectionism is more than just avoiding mistakes—if only it were that simple! It’s deeply rooted in a fear of failure, which we try to dodge by “doing it right” or aiming for “perfect.” It sneaks in as unrealistic expectations—either for yourself, for others, or by convincing you that others are holding you to unattainable standards. This fear can dominate not just how you show up at work but also seep into your personal life, straining relationships and shaking your confidence. And trust me, even when you think you’ve got it under control, perfectionism has a way of creeping back in when you least expect it.

How to Spot Perfectionism

If you’re still reading, you’re probably nodding your head right now. But if you’re unsure, here are a few questions to ask yourself:

• Do you get frustrated if something isn’t perfect the first (or second) time?
• Do you obsess over small mistakes long after they happen?
• Is your inner voice constantly critiquing everything you do, saying “I should’ve done better”?
• Do you push yourself past comfortable limits, working late or going overboard on projects or favors?
• Do you procrastinate because you’re scared it won’t go perfectly, only to beat yourself up for procrastinating?

I’ve answered yes to all of these at some point (perfectionism, party of one!). The problem is, unchecked perfectionism leads to stress, anxiety, and burnout. But don’t worry—we’ve got strategies to tackle it.

3 Strategies to Combat Perfectionism

1. Reframe Expectations:
   Borrowing from CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), reframing is a powerful way to challenge perfectionist thoughts. When you catch yourself thinking, “I have to do this perfectly” or “I can’t mess up,” name that thought as unhelpful. Then, ask yourself: “What would I expect from someone else in this situation?” Start there, and set a realistic expectation and that you can feel proud of meeting. Sometimes our limiting beliefs contribute to our perfectionism. Learn to challenge those here. 
   Bonus tip: Break big goals into smaller, bite-sized steps and celebrate along the way! It’s much easier to focus on progress when you’re not staring at the mountaintop.
2. Practice Being Uncomfortable:
   Cue the groans—no one likes being uncomfortable. But part of the reason perfectionists aim for perfection is to avoid any form of discomfort. Gradual exposure to situations you typically avoid can actually help you grow. Why? Because it forces you to experience imperfection and realize, “Hey, this isn’t so bad after all!”
   Try intentionally making mistakes, like arriving late to a meeting, taking up a hobby you’re terrible at, or attending a social event solo. The more you face discomfort, the less power it has over you. Go out there and be bad at something on purpose!
3. Focus on Learning, Not Just Outcomes:
   Perfectionists often measure themselves by accomplishments against arbitrary, sky-high standards. Shift your focus to the learning process instead of the end result. Remind yourself: You’re human, which means you’re gloriously imperfect.
   So ask yourself: What am I learning right now? How can this help me grow? The journey of growth is more valuable than nailing every step along the way.

A Final Thought on Perfectionism

A common myth is that perfectionism is what makes you successful. Spoiler alert: It’s not. You are successful in spite of your perfectionism, not because of it. There’s no evidence to suggest that perfectionists outperform their non-perfectionist peers.

Remember, progress trumps perfection every time. You get to define what’s “good enough,” and the most important narrative is the one you tell yourself.