You’re playing small at work, and here is how to stop shrinking in rooms where you deserve to shine.

The Shower Thought That Got You Here:

Ever look back at a moment and think,

“I could’ve spoken up…”
“I should’ve gone for that opportunity…”

Yeah. Same. I call those shower thoughts—the imaginary reruns where I deliver the perfect comeback or finally raise my hand. 

Playing small at work isn’t always loud. Sometimes it looks like:

• Not applying for the role because you don’t meet every qualification

• Smiling and nodding while someone else takes credit for your idea

• Staying quiet in meetings, even when you know you have something to say

• Dismissing praise with “It was nothing”

• Waiting for permission instead of just… doing the thing

Sometimes playing small is a survival strategy.
Sometimes it’s habit.
But either way—it’s costing you.

Let’s Talk About Why We Play Small

Short answer? Fear. Conditioning. Past experiences.

Long answer?
Many of us are navigating systems that were never designed for us to thrive.
Maybe you were raised to be humble, not bold. Maybe your assertiveness got labeled as “too much” once—or more than once.
Maybe being the only [insert identity here] in the room feels like enough pressure without adding “confident leader” to the mix.

And honestly? I get it. Shrinking sometimes feels safer.
But playing small doesn’t serve you.
You don’t have to disappear to belong. You don’t have to earn your seat twice.

You deserve to take up space—especially in rooms you fought to be in.

A Moment of Truth:

A few years ago, I was a one-person HR team. I created job descriptions, defined competencies, built the hiring process—everything.

Then I walked into a meeting and found out that one of the roles I was recruiting for,  had already been filled overnight. No discussion. No heads up. Just… boom. Offer made.

I was stunned. I had done the work. I assumed doing the work meant I had a say.
But here’s the thing: I had been trusting the process. I hadn’t been claiming my place in it.

That moment taught me that showing up and taking up space are not the same thing.
Leadership takes more than a good system—it takes a strong voice.

So I stopped waiting to be invited.
I stopped shrinking to fit spaces that weren’t built for me.
I started building new rooms—and bringing people with me.

So, How Do You Start Taking Up Space?

• Track your wins. Every single one. A compliment from a coworker, a task you crushed, a fire you put out before noon—write it down. You’ve done more than you think.
• Speak up. Start small. Share your thoughts in one meeting. Add your take in a group chat. Then keep going.
• Apply before you’re “ready.” You don’t need to tick every box. Growth doesn’t wait for you to feel 100% confident.
• Ask for feedback. Feedback isn’t failure—it’s a growth shortcut.
• Get support. A coach or mentor can help you spot where you’re playing small and call you back into your power.

Final Thought (and a gentle push):

The workplace doesn’t need more self-doubt.
It needs you. Your ideas. Your vision. Your voice.

If this hit home—if you’ve been nodding along or silently calling yourself out—let’s talk. Coaching can help you stop playing small and start leading with clarity, courage, and a little bit of joy.

Bonus: Download my free “Track Your Wins” worksheet to help you get started.

Are you ready to build a leadership approach that aligns with your values, well-being, and long-term success? Let’s start that journey together. Reach out today.